When Someone You Love Has Cancer Trailer

New York Times bestselling coauthor of 90 Minutes in Heaven Cecil Murphey knows what it means to walk the journey of cancer with someone he loves. As a pastor, he counseled and comforted many. But when his wife was told she had cancer, being a caregiver and encourager took on a new and personal meaning.

If someone you love has cancer, or if you know of a caregiver who needs a bit of comfort, let these simple words from someone who's been there ease your heart and give you spirit-lifting thoughts for celebrating the gift of life in the midst of troubles.

March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month.

I've got my appointment to schedule a colonoscopy. How about you?

At a recent trip to my wonderful doctor (who is just about my age 59) I mentioned that I'd been having some trouble swallowing and frequent heartburn and indigestion. I also shared that my father had died of esophagus cancer in 2004 and I was concerned that I might be at risk for that particular cancer. I asked about an exam I had read about to scope out the condition of my esophagus.

To my surprise, Dr. A told me he had some of the same symptoms I was describing and in addition to taking a look at my esophagus, he thought it would be good to take a look at the colon as well. Turns out, that he just recently gone in for same test and had a colonoscopy, too, "As long as you're "out" anyway."

(Incidentally, Dr A also mentioned that was one test he'd been avoiding, too, but was glad he'd finally gotten it done).

So, my doctor called and my appointment is for March 9, @ 1:45 PM.

How about making a call and get your own appointment scheduled today?

Scared of the unknown? Here's just one of the informative articles you can find about the procedure if you "Google" " colonoscopy". http://www.health.com/health/library/topic/0,,hw209694_hw209697,00.html

It's even possible to find video of the exam on YouTube (not to mention lots of humor from a variety of comedians about it).

Still in doubt? Here's more information from the ACS.

A timely article from the American Cancer Society.

This March, the American Cancer Society is encouraging men and women 50 and older to make getting tested for colorectal cancer a priority. See our discussion of this topic from the ACS or visit the link below
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MED/content/MED_2_1x_Dont_be_Semi-Interested_in_Your_Colon.asp

So don't delay, you may wind up saving your own life.

Words of Comfort for Times of Loss

Through great personal loss, authors Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison, http://www.lizallison.com/index.html have gained insight to share with others who are going through uncertainty, depression, and loneliness after losing a loved one. They also offer advice for those comforting someone who is grieving.

Among comforting paintings by artist Michal Sparks, brief stories, personal experiences, and prayers offer a meaningful path toward healing for readers when they:

• feel alone and lost in their grief and want to reconnect with others and to life
• seek to make sense of their loss alongside their sense of faith, purpose, and God
• want to honor their loved one without clinging to the past in unhealthy ways

Readers are given gentle permission to grapple with doubt, seek peace, and reflect on their loss in their own way without judgment and with understanding and hope. A perfect gift for a loved one dealing with loss.

If you purchase a copy of Cec’s newest gift book, Words of Comfort for Times of Loss, for $11, I will give you a hardback copy of Heaven Is Real (a $22 value) free. (The offer is good while supplies last.) You might want to donate these books to your church library, a grief support group, a ministry, or give them to a friend. Contact Twila Belk at twila@gottatellsomebody.com or 563-332-1622.

Sharing Your Story

"For each life is a book, not to be read, but rather a story to be written. The Author starts each life story, but each life will write his or her own ending," Max Lucado.

Do you have a story to share? Most of us do and most of us need a little help to get started. If telling your story is a dream of yours, then read on, my friend.

If you’re looking for insight into the publishing industry, have questions about getting published or marketing your finished work, or just need some plain old-fashioned encouragement on your writing journey, QCCWC is the conference for you.

From all over the country authors and participants gather to share ideas, to spend time together finding and giving help and encouragement in a conference unique because of its heart.

Over and over again we've received feedback from people sharing comments like:

"There's a different Spirit at this conference".

"I didn't know the authors and teachers would be so accessible."

"I can't wait to try out what I've learned."

"Thank you for such a wonderful conference!"

We hope you'll take time to come and see for yourself the difference two short days can make in your writing and in your life.

From the website:

"The Quad-Cities Christian Writers' Conference is pleased to announce that some of the best writing instructors in the nation will join us in 2010 for two full days of breakout sessions, continuing sessions, keynote talks, one-on-one appointments, and inspiration.

In order to make an impact with your writing, it's important to LEARN THE CRAFT. That's what the Quad-Cities Christian Writers' Conference is all about. You won't find publishers, agents, and editors in attendance, but you will experience the care and coaching of a professional, knowledgeable staff. Our faculty will answer your questions, guide you, teach you, and show you how you can use your writing to change the world one word at a time."

Join us April 9-10 in Eldridge, Iowa.

It could be your first step toward the thrill of seeing your work in print.

For more information or to register go to http://www.qccwc.com/

I'll be looking for you!

Check out the special early-bird rate for registrations postmarked or electronically submitted on or before Saturday, February 20! $$ off and a free book as well!

"The Good-News Guide to Caregiving" from Reader's Digesthttp://http://www.rd.com/make-it-matter-make-a-difference/-4-amazing-caregiving-stories/articl

"There are only four kinds of people in this world,” former first lady Rosalynn Carter once wrote. “Those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, those who will need caregivers.”

I read these words on the plane flying home from California last year. I was instantly taken back to late summer of 2003 when I began the process of caring for both of my parents who were eventurally in hospice. My mom had multiple heart and breathing issues, infections and generally was in poor health, with dementia. My father was most heartbreaking, perfectly sound except for the esophageal cancer, possibly other places as well, that would take his life in April of 2004.

Love doesn’t stop when a parent, spouse, or friend gets sick. Here, remarkable stories of stepping up, sticking around, and finding joy, written by Camille Peri from the Dec/Jan issue of Reader's Digest. I hope these stories lift and stregthen your spirit as they did mine.

May you have a happy, hopeful New Year.

http://www.rd.com/make-it-matter-make-a-difference/-4-amazing-caregiving-stories/article168643.html

Beautiful Christmas Song For Those With Illness

Rest Ministries.com is a wonderful site for caregivers. Click on the link below to go to the link and listen to an unusual and touching song written for a family member facing a difficult time at Christmas.

Beautiful Christmas Song For Those With Illness

My Gift

Shirley handled the news far better than I did. Even though the doctor reminded her that she was in the high-risk category, she didn't seem upset. She had breast cancer and it had already spread into the lymph nodes. He informed her that after surgery, she would have six weekly chemo injections.

Shirley is one of those individuals who has never been physically strong and has suffered from many illnesses. This seemed to be one more burden for her to overcome, but she didn't complain or feel sorry for herself.

The doctor sent home a video and several helpful pieces of literature to prepare us for the surgery and for the chemo treatments.

A few days before her surgery, I walked along in a nearby park. I love my wife, even though many times I felt I had expressed it inadequately. The thought of losing my life-partner burdened me and I hardly knew how to deal with it. No matter what happened, I wanted her to have some sense of how deeply I felt. In our years together we've had many problems and struggles—like other couples—but our relationship had always been the one stable thing in my life. God had given me a loving, committed wife. I'm a better Christian today because of her.

As I walked that day, I decided that I wanted to give her a gift—something beyond words and something beyond what was prized one day and laid away and forgotten a month later. It had to be a special gift. As I prayed, nothing came to me.

A few days before the surgery, we watched the video. It warned us that some marriages break up when a woman undergoes a mastectomy. Some men see their wives as disfigured, disgusting, and unappealing.

A few wives spoke openly about feeling unattractive and ugly. Especially, the women spoke about their hair. As I learned then, most women lose all bodily hair during chemo treatments. The women spoke about their hair coming out in the shower in huge hunks. Some told of their tears, even though they knew the hair would grow again after the treatments stopped.

I loved Shirley's thick mane. When we married, it was that beautiful shade of red they call titian. By her mid-thirties, the graying had taken away the titian and her color became what they call champagne. I thought it was beautiful.

After we watched the video, I had an idea. I knew the gift I could give her. "You'll probably go bald," I said. "At least that's what the video depicted."

Before I could say anything more, Shirley said she'd either buy a wig or wear a turban. She didn't seem distressed. That felt a bit strange because I was more upset over the loss of her hair than she was.

"I have an idea," I said. "It's something I'd like to do for you. When you lose your hair, how about if I shave my head?"

The suggestion took her by surprise and she stared at me.

"We can go around as two old baldies," I said quickly.

She continued to stare at me for several seconds.

I have a full head of hair. It had been dark brown and the white had streaked through it. My hair has a loose curl but I'd always kept it cut short. My mother once said that when I was quite young natural ringlets formed across my forehead.

I didn't say it to Shirley, but I thought, this could be my gift to you. It will show you that I'm with you in your lowest time.

"I have a better idea," she said.

We sat across from each other and she reached over and stroked my face. "I've always liked your curls but you cut them too short to show."

"It's easier to take care of that way," I said.

"Here's what I'd like. I'd like you to let your hair grow. Let me enjoy looking at your curls."

She wanted to look at my curls? I didn't mind men having long hair, but I couldn't conceive of my hair being long.

"I'd like to look at your curls during the weeks of chemo. I'll also tell you when to get it cut."

"All right," I said. I reached over, hugged her, and held her a long time.

This is my gift to you, I thought. Each day as you look at me, you can see my love for you. "So you'll tell me when to cut it?" I asked.

She smiled and assured me she would do that.

Shirley's surgery took place in September 1999. By the second chemo treatment, she had lost every follicle of hair. Most of the time she wore wigs given to her by friends. Occasionally, she wore only a turban. It didn't matter to me. She was still the woman I loved—with or without hair. And, as the doctor predicted, after the chemo ended, her hair grew back again.

My hair? A decade later it's still long and curly. When it gets long, the curls on top form ringlets as they did in childhood. Every few weeks, Shirley will say, "It's time to get it cut again."

I've gotten used to the long hair. A decade ago I combed it after my shower and didn't bother with it again the rest of the day. It's different now. When I think about my hair, I smile and remind myself, this is my gift to Shirley. This is my gift that lasts. Whenever she looks at my hair, I want it to be a reminder that this is for her.

This is my gift of love.