Beautiful Christmas Song For Those With Illness

Rest Ministries.com is a wonderful site for caregivers. Click on the link below to go to the link and listen to an unusual and touching song written for a family member facing a difficult time at Christmas.

Beautiful Christmas Song For Those With Illness

My Gift

Shirley handled the news far better than I did. Even though the doctor reminded her that she was in the high-risk category, she didn't seem upset. She had breast cancer and it had already spread into the lymph nodes. He informed her that after surgery, she would have six weekly chemo injections.

Shirley is one of those individuals who has never been physically strong and has suffered from many illnesses. This seemed to be one more burden for her to overcome, but she didn't complain or feel sorry for herself.

The doctor sent home a video and several helpful pieces of literature to prepare us for the surgery and for the chemo treatments.

A few days before her surgery, I walked along in a nearby park. I love my wife, even though many times I felt I had expressed it inadequately. The thought of losing my life-partner burdened me and I hardly knew how to deal with it. No matter what happened, I wanted her to have some sense of how deeply I felt. In our years together we've had many problems and struggles—like other couples—but our relationship had always been the one stable thing in my life. God had given me a loving, committed wife. I'm a better Christian today because of her.

As I walked that day, I decided that I wanted to give her a gift—something beyond words and something beyond what was prized one day and laid away and forgotten a month later. It had to be a special gift. As I prayed, nothing came to me.

A few days before the surgery, we watched the video. It warned us that some marriages break up when a woman undergoes a mastectomy. Some men see their wives as disfigured, disgusting, and unappealing.

A few wives spoke openly about feeling unattractive and ugly. Especially, the women spoke about their hair. As I learned then, most women lose all bodily hair during chemo treatments. The women spoke about their hair coming out in the shower in huge hunks. Some told of their tears, even though they knew the hair would grow again after the treatments stopped.

I loved Shirley's thick mane. When we married, it was that beautiful shade of red they call titian. By her mid-thirties, the graying had taken away the titian and her color became what they call champagne. I thought it was beautiful.

After we watched the video, I had an idea. I knew the gift I could give her. "You'll probably go bald," I said. "At least that's what the video depicted."

Before I could say anything more, Shirley said she'd either buy a wig or wear a turban. She didn't seem distressed. That felt a bit strange because I was more upset over the loss of her hair than she was.

"I have an idea," I said. "It's something I'd like to do for you. When you lose your hair, how about if I shave my head?"

The suggestion took her by surprise and she stared at me.

"We can go around as two old baldies," I said quickly.

She continued to stare at me for several seconds.

I have a full head of hair. It had been dark brown and the white had streaked through it. My hair has a loose curl but I'd always kept it cut short. My mother once said that when I was quite young natural ringlets formed across my forehead.

I didn't say it to Shirley, but I thought, this could be my gift to you. It will show you that I'm with you in your lowest time.

"I have a better idea," she said.

We sat across from each other and she reached over and stroked my face. "I've always liked your curls but you cut them too short to show."

"It's easier to take care of that way," I said.

"Here's what I'd like. I'd like you to let your hair grow. Let me enjoy looking at your curls."

She wanted to look at my curls? I didn't mind men having long hair, but I couldn't conceive of my hair being long.

"I'd like to look at your curls during the weeks of chemo. I'll also tell you when to get it cut."

"All right," I said. I reached over, hugged her, and held her a long time.

This is my gift to you, I thought. Each day as you look at me, you can see my love for you. "So you'll tell me when to cut it?" I asked.

She smiled and assured me she would do that.

Shirley's surgery took place in September 1999. By the second chemo treatment, she had lost every follicle of hair. Most of the time she wore wigs given to her by friends. Occasionally, she wore only a turban. It didn't matter to me. She was still the woman I loved—with or without hair. And, as the doctor predicted, after the chemo ended, her hair grew back again.

My hair? A decade later it's still long and curly. When it gets long, the curls on top form ringlets as they did in childhood. Every few weeks, Shirley will say, "It's time to get it cut again."

I've gotten used to the long hair. A decade ago I combed it after my shower and didn't bother with it again the rest of the day. It's different now. When I think about my hair, I smile and remind myself, this is my gift to Shirley. This is my gift that lasts. Whenever she looks at my hair, I want it to be a reminder that this is for her.

This is my gift of love.

Do you work with a cancer ministry, organization, or hospice?

Are you a parish nurse, hospital chaplain, or work in the field of oncology in some way? If you fall into any of the above categories we would love to send you a copy of When Someone You Love Has Cancer to review and share. This offer comes completely free and with no obligation.

New York Times best selling author Cecil Murphey is making this offer to the dedicated care givers who work with cancer patients, their families and others who love them.

More than 12.4 million people in the world suffer from cancer. That's a lot of people, but the number of loved ones of cancer suffers is even greater. What do you do when a special person in your life is diagnosed with this devastating disease?

When bestselling author Cecil Murphey's wife was diagnosed with high risk breast cancer, he felt helpless. As he says, "I couldn't make her better or take away the diagnosis. I felt powerless and empty. I did for her the only thing I could - and I did it for me as well - I prayed."

He has used his experiences as a loved one and his many years of wisdom gained from being a pastor and hospital chaplain to write "When Someone You Love Has Cancer."

This much–needed book uniquely combines practical ways to help a friend and family member deal with a devastating disease and spirit–lifting thoughts for celebrating the gift of life in the midst of troubles.

Cec knows what it is to walk the journey of cancer with someone he loves. As a pastor and hospital chaplain, he counseled and comforted many. But when his wife learned she had cancer, being a caregiver and encourager took on a personal meaning.

When Someone You Love Has Cancer is a beautiful book filled with practical helps and spirit-lifting thoughts that provide comfort and encouragement for caregivers and loved ones.

So if you work with a cancer ministry, organization, or hospice, please contact me, and I’ll send a free copy of the book for you to review and share with others.

Remember to include the address where you would like the book sent.

Thank you for the great work you are doing.

Gail P Smith
gail@gottatellsomebody.com
563-332-6468
Assistant to Twila Belk
http://www.gottatellsomebody.com/
http://www.qccwc.com/

A message from the author of When Someone You Love Has Cancer

When Shirley walked in from the garage, she didn't have to say a word: I read the diagnosis in her eyes. I grabbed her and held her tightly for several seconds. When I released her, she didn't cry. The unshed tears glistened, but that was all.

I felt emotionally paralyzed and helpless, and I couldn't understand my reaction. After all, I was a professional. As a former pastor and volunteer hospital chaplain I had been around many cancer patients. I'd seen people at their lowest and most vulnerable. As a writing instructor, I helped one woman write her cancer-survival book. Shirley and I had been caregivers for Shirley's older sister for months before she died of colon cancer.

All of that happened before cancer became personal to me—before my wife learned she needed a mastectomy. To make it worse, Shirley was in the high-risk category because most of her blood relatives had died of some form of cancer. Years earlier, she had jokingly said, "In our family we grow things."

In the days after the diagnosis and before her surgery, I went to a local bookstore and to the public library. I found dozens of accounts, usually by women, about their battle and survival. I pushed aside the novels that ended in a person's death. A few books contained medical or technical information. I searched on-line and garnered useful information—but I found nothing that spoke to me on how to cope with the possible loss of the person I loved most in this world.

Our story ends happily: Shirley has started her tenth year as a cancer survivor. Not only am I grateful, but I remember my pain and confusion during those days. That concerns me enough to reach out to others who also feel helpless as they watch a loved one face the serious diagnosis of cancer.

That's why I wrote When Someone You Love Has Cancer. I want to encourage relatives and friends and also to offer practical suggestions as they stay at the side of those they love.

The appendix offers specific things for them to do and not to do—and much of that information came about because of the way people reacted around us.

It's a terrible situation for anyone to have cancer; it's a heavy burden for us who deeply love those with cancer.

Cecil Murphey

When Someone You Love Has Cancer
Publisher: Harvest House ISBN: 978-0-7369-2428-3 Retail: $10.99

For more information about the book or the author, contact Twila Belk at twilabelk@mchsi.com or 563-332-1622.

Visit Cecil Murphey’s Web site: http://www.themanbehindthewords.com/

Links to purchase When Someone You Love Has Cancer

You may purchase Cecil Murphey's book "When Someone You Love Has Cancer" from the following web sites or from your local book store.

Amazon http://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Cancer-Encouragement/dp/0736924280

Barnes & Nobel http://search.barnesandnoble.com/When-Someone-You-Love-Has-Cancer/Cecil-Murphey/e/9780736924283/?itm=3&usri=when+someone+you+love+has+cancer

Borders http://www.borders.com/online/store/TitleDetail?sku=0736924280

Press Release for When Someone You Love Has Cancer

(Atlanta, GA) The World Health Organization recently released a report claiming that by the year 2010 cancer will be the number one killer worldwide. More than 12.4 million people in the world suffer from cancer. 7.6 million people are expected to die from some form of cancer. That’s a lot of people, but the number of loved ones of cancer sufferers is far greater. What do they do when a special person in their life is diagnosed with this devastating disease?

Bestselling author Cecil Murphey understands intimately how loved ones suffer. The diagnosis of breast cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes put Murphey’s wife, Shirley, in the high-risk category. At least eight of her blood relatives had died from cancer. Shortly after the doctor confirmed Shirley’s cancer suspicions, her older sister was diagnosed with colon cancer.

“I went emotionally numb for several days,” Murphey said. “I felt helpless. I also realized that I needed to affirm my love and encourage Shirley before the surgery and through her recovery period. I learned many lessons about loving and caring for someone with cancer.”

Murphey brings his experiences as a loved one and many years of wisdom gained from being a pastor and hospital chaplain to his newest book When Someone You Love Has Cancer: Comfort and Encouragement for Caregivers and Loved Ones (Harvest House Publishers). His honest I’ve-been-there admissions and practical helps are combined with artist Michal Sparks’ soothing watercolor paintings.

Readers of When Someone You Love Has Cancer will receive:
· Inspiration to seek peace and understanding in their loved one’s situation
· Help in learning the importance of active listening
· Guidance in exploring their own feelings of confusion and unrest
· Help in how to handle anxiety and apprehension
· Honest answers to questions dealing with emotions, exhaustion, and helplessness
· Spirit-lifting thoughts for celebrating the gift of life in the midst of troubles
Murphey explains why this is a much-needed book: “Most books about cancer address survivors. I want to speak to the mates, families, and friends who love those with cancer. I offer a number of simple, practical things people can do for those with cancer.”

About the Author:
Cecil Murphey is an international speaker and bestselling author who has written more than 100 books, including the New York Times bestseller 90 Minutes in Heaven (with Don Piper). No stranger himself to loss and grieving, Cecil has served as a pastor and hospital chaplain for many years, and through his ministry and books he has brought hope and encouragement to countless people around the world. For more information, visit http://www.themanbehindthewords.com/.
Author/Speaker now securing interviews.

Reviews of When Someone You Love Has Cancer from Harvest House

“My copy of When Someone You Love Has Cancer arrived this morning and I immediately sat down and read it from cover to cover. I believe this small book will be a blessing to many who have loved ones suffering from cancer. My wife’s sister has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I know Cecil’s words will be helpful both to my wife and others in the family. “I especially appreciated the short prayers at the end of each chapter and the helpful and very practical hints in the appendix. “Thank you, Cec, for writing and thank you, Harvest House Publishers, for making this book available to people who need comfort and encouragement.”—John R. Burbank

“Thank you for the privilege of reading When Someone You Love Has Cancer. As a breast cancer survivor, I found that Cecil Murphey wrote truthfully about the feelings that cancer patients experience. His advice to caregivers to be a listener is priceless. One of my most important needs was for someone to just listen to me and allow me to share all of my feelings without fear of rejection, judgment or criticism. In addition, the power of physical presence was so necessary in order for me to know that I was not alone. That physical presence translated into God’s presence for me. “The prayers are beautiful. “The chapter, When She Can Still Smell the Flowers, is delightful. It is a wonderful reminder to all of us to share our love and appreciation to others while they can savor the moments and the memories. “The appendix offers extremely helpful and very practical tips for caregivers. This book is easy to read and a great resource. I recommend it to all caregivers who have a loved one facing any kind of life altering disease or challenge.” —Karen Schlender

“The beautiful book, When Someone You Love Has Cancer, by Cecil Murphey, is a “must” read book for anyone who has a loved one with cancer. As a cancer survivor, I wish my family and friends had a copy when I was in the midst of dealing with cancer. The book is helpful and beautiful.—Pastor Carolyn A. Driver

“I knew it would be personal. Personal, not because Mr. Murphey is telling his own story, but because the writing has the tone of a friend’s letter. Not just any friend, a friend who is walking the road with you, a shared experience… “Every hospice, oncologist, and church should have this book available for family members. Although it is Christian at its core, the words are for everyone, including professional caregivers.”—BlogsOfBooks.com